The List...#4

#4.  Take a ballroom dance lesson

Yes, I am a closet dancer wannabe.  I confess...I love watching So You Think You Can Dance and Dancing with the Stars.  Even my children know this about me.  When Joshua catches me watching something on t.v., he always asks, "Mom, are you watching your dancing show again?". 

So, I thought it appropriate that learning how to dance would be on my 40 List!  I believe that God thought so too!  Because interestingly enough, I met a new couple that started attending our church a few months ago.  As I was talking to the wife, she shared with me that she's a dance instructor.  My ears perked up and she had my full attention!  I immediately bombarded her with questions, until she gave me her card (either to shut me up or to entice me to lessons...I'm thinking both!).  But I believe this was a divine appointment!

Bringing this subject matter of dance lessons to Jared was no easy feat.  While I pride myself with having somewhat decent rhythm, my husband does not.  He enjoys grooving to his own beat and style, which never fails to provide me with amusement and entertainment.  But the thought of actually learning ballroom dancing, he felt fear and trepidation.  But I had to remind him that "it takes two to tango" (like my dancing analogy?!), and I wasn't prepared to dance with anyone else.  I'm not proud of this, but I did stoop pretty low and...um...begged...and pleaded.  It's on my list!  He can't refuse me, right?

And being the good sport that he is, he didn't.

So last Monday night, we went to the Fred Astaire Dance Studio in South Barrington for our first (and probably only) lesson.  We met our friend and dance instructor, Amy, and she spent the next hour showing us the basics of the rumba, foxtrot, waltz, and (I can't remember the exact name...it reminded me of swing).  Undoubtedly, I had a blast!  You'll have to ask Jared yourself what he really thought.  (Here's a quick shout out to Fred Astaire Dance Studio.  Ask for Amy Ross.  She's awesome!)

I don't think I'll ever be a professional dancer.  But I love to dance.  I don't pretend to dance well, but I do love to move to music.  I love the emotions that music evokes.  I love reminiscing of my younger days when I used to see my mother and uncle dance (they won a few dance competitions back in the day).  And today, I love seeing my girls dance and twirl to music, enjoying the moment of pure abandon as they move and sway.  In those moments, I move and sway along with them as I worship and praise my God for the gift of my girls, and for the gift of dance!

Jared and me before we left for our dance lesson.

 

Shall we dance?

 

Becca loves to dance!

Below is a short video of her and Jared dancing. 

She loves to grab his hand, and wants him to dance with her all the time! 

I think this is going to be "wedding day worthy" material!

 

(oops...there were issues with uploading)

 

 

 

In need of grace

I'm having one of those days.  You know, the ones when all you want to do is crawl under your blanket and sleep.  The ones when you want to eat all the Tim Tams or any other form of cookies or delectable delights until you're overly stuffed.  The ones when you wish you could stay in bed all day and just watch reruns of Downton Abbey Seasons 1, 2 and 3!

I checked.  It's not the time of the month. 

Maybe it's just February.  And thankfully, this is the last day of the month!  It's cold and gloomy outside.  Oh, and did I mention that I'm averaging only a few hours of sleep a night?  And I've been battling this sinus congestion thing for a couple of weeks now. 

Becca was sick last week, and poor baby was so congested that sleeping was difficult for her.  Hence, she was waking up multiple times at night.  She then started getting up at 4:30am and wouldn't go back to sleep.  Now that she's better, you'd think she'd go back to her usual sleep routine.  Oh no!  Her new wake time is now between 4:30 and 5am.  And let me just tell you...I am NOT a morning person. 

And being 18 months, there's so much of the world to explore - cupboards to open, stairs to climb, contents in jars to dump out, milk to spill, dirt to eat, Legos to flush (yes, down the toilet!), walls to paint (with dirty fingers or whatever writing utensil is laying around).  Yes, all very cute.  But, in this moment, counting to 10 (or even 100) is not working much for me. 

My head and throat hurt, my eyes are burning from lack of sleep.  At the same time, I'm trying to help my first grader with his Chinese homework and I can't...it literally is becoming foreign to me (some days I regret my decision to send him to the Immersion Program!).  And, I'm trying to play Doc McStuffin with my preschooler and am not succeeding because I'm not "playing it right" (how do you play wrong?!).  All this time, I have to keep an eye on the said toddler explorer, and make sure she doesn't throw any more of my personal effects in the trash (I found some of my delicates in the garbage the other day!).  I'm just one hot mess!

I'm striving to whine less, complain less, look at the brighter, positive side of things.  But you couldn't tell from what I just wrote!  While I try to be a cup-half-full person, this "thing", this feeling of "blahness", tiredness, sickness, whatever it is, is kicking my butt!

This afternoon, while Becca napped, I was trying to lay down as well.  But Jenna wanted some  "cuddle time" with me (but who's kidding, I can't nap when I cuddle with Jenna.  She's a wiggly worm!).  At first, I said no because I wanted to nap.  Then this overwhelming sense of guilt enveloped me, and I thought I heard "you're a terrible mom for choosing napping over your daughter", "don't you want to spend quality time with her?  You keep telling others to cherish these moments, and you can't even do it, you hypocrite!", "she's growing up and you're going to regret not spending this time with her", and on and on these lies kept playing in my head.  Maybe it's the ibuprofen talking, but I am ashamed to admit - I did succumb and spent the next couple of hours with Jenna on my lap, while she poked and prodded me with her Doc McStuffin's doctor's equipment (darn you, Doc McStuffin!). 

While I'm sure the 2 hours meant the world to her, I know that at times, it is okay to say no.  I just need to keep those accusatory voices at bay.  And when I yelled at my kids today, and again, instantaneously was engulfed in guilt, I need to fight the lies of the "failed mom" that roams in my head.  Above all else, I need to find enough grace to give myself when I feel like an utter failure.  It's so much easier said than done. 

Hence in those moments of grasping for shreds of grace, that's when I appreciate my dear friend, Becky, who texted me today after I told her that I wanted to move far, far away, and she encouraged me with empathy and with words of "you are a rock star", even though I didn't feel like one!  I learned that in those times when I can't give myself grace, it's such a blessing to have others do it for me!

Okay, I'll stop my whining now...

Who else is looking forward to Spring?!