Thursday, January 24, 2013

Letting Go

I asked for a Mom's Devotional Bible for Christmas, and got it, so I've been using it for my quiet time.  While I still receive online devotions on a daily basis through Today's Christian Woman and Family Life, there's just something about flipping through the physical pages of the bible and reading the Word (I guess that's why I haven't really explored getting a Kindle or any kind of eBook devices.  I just like holding a book and turning actual pages!). 


The daily devotions in the Mom's bible is concise, so it wouldn't require a lot of time.  There's a passage that you have to look up to read (again, I enjoy flipping the pages!), accompanied with additional scripture readings if you have extra time.  This is followed by a brief devotional or lesson.  Even though they are short, all the lessons pack a punch, and I love how it pertains to life as moms.  Hence, the very reason why I wanted to get this bible - it's applicable, relevant, inspirational, encouraging, and even in the margins of scripture, you'll see a little "heart" symbol next to a particular verse.  The heart signifies that this verse is a reference to mothers, grandmothers (and mother-in-laws, too!).  I appreciate how the devotional readings are in sequential order, meaning it's going through the bible starting with Genesis.  And I love how even stories in the Old Testament have life lessons for us today. 

Anyway, I didn't plan on being so descriptive about the Mom's Devotional Bible, but really wanted to share with you last Thursday's lesson on "Letting Go".

The passage for the day was from Exodus 2 - the birth of Moses and how his mother had to "let him go" down the river in the woven basket, in order to save his life.  I love the beginning sentences of the devotional:

"It's been said that a mother is not to lean on, but to make leaning unnecessary.  It's also been said that a mother's lap is the best place from which to launch life."

The devotion goes on to say that...

" Letting go is a heart-attitude that begins at birth.  It begins with recognizing that children are a gift from God.  They are merely loaned to the parents for upbringing and nurturing in the Lord.  The process requires a daily choice to relinquish a child to God's care, God's instruction, God's control."  (p.60, Mom's Devotional Bible, Zondervan)

As I read this devotional, my heart ached a little...okay, a lot!  Most of you know that I'm a pretty sentimental person.  I treasure little keepsakes from my children, tuck away meaningful letters or notes from friends, scrapbook significant moments, and enjoy creating memories with my family.  But these moments that are given to us are so fleeting.  And while I tell myself to enjoy them, which I do, I have to confess that there's a part of me that is anxious.  Anxious that time is moving too fast, anxious that my kids are growing up and I'm not "there" to capture the moments, anxious that I would miss out on things, anxious that I'm not doing enough for them as a mom in this growing stage of life, anxious that I'm going to mess them up and already have, anxious that they will forget these fleeting moments.  I know these are silly thoughts, but they are real thoughts that creep into my mind, and cause my heart to tremble sometimes.

Then reading this devotion of letting go, if I'm honest with myself, this will be one of the hardest things that I will have to do.  I don't see myself as someone physically hovering over my kids.  You can ask any of my mommy-friends when we go to play areas, half the time I don't even know where my kids are!  (okay, don't report me to DCFS please!)  The challenge will come, and has already occurred, when I have to let go emotionally and sometimes physically too.  If you've read my previous posts about the first day of school, you'll see why I have such a hard time.

I can't explain it, but I'm sure I'm not the only one, right?  It's a heart language between mothers (and fathers, or any parental figures) that can't be articulated.  Or at least, I can't.  Yes, it could be that I'm sentimental and want to hold on to the precious moments and stages of life.  Maybe if humans could develop at the same rate as turtles, then childhood wouldn't fly by so fast! (BTW, the American Box turtle lives a minimum of 100 years)

Or maybe it's because I enjoy being a nurturer, teacher, and am not ready to finish this "job". 

Or maybe it's a control issue...

Because relinquishing the last donut in the box, is a lot easier than relinquishing your children.  I'm still amazed and somewhat baffled that the God of the universe would bestow such an important responsibility as parenting to us, to me.  I've heard from so many people, personally and in the media, that they wished that children would come with an instruction manual.  But they don't.  And yet, God still chooses us to care for His beloved babies.  He has called me to be mom to Joshua, Jenna, and Becca.  And He has called you to be mom to your precious little ones too.  And with this calling comes great responsibility, even though this is the hardest job I've ever had to do, it is the best one!  And it is a priviledge.  For a few more decades, I'll get the opportunity to teach, nurture, love, and point my children to the one true God who really is the one who gave them to me in the first place.  I get to influence their decisions, encourage their growth, mold their minds, assist in the navigation of their paths, teach them life lessons, point them to true beauty, show them the real meaning of love, and attempt to shield them from harm. 

After all these investments, the thought of letting go is hard.  But it is something that needs to be done...sooner or later.  I'm given this one life with my children, and I want to make it count.  I want to be a responsible steward of the little ones whom God has entrusted to me.  It is my responsibility to raise them, and when the time comes, to let them go.  And in letting them go, I give them back to God and then need to trust that God will take care of them.  Someone said "Let go, and let God."  True, but it's probably easier said than done.  I know that I don't have to cross this bridge for a while, but I feel like every day is a practice day for when it actually happens.  Saying goodbye to Joshua in the mornings as he goes to school takes on new meaning, especially after the Newtown incident.  Nevertheless, I need to trust that he is in God's care...come what may.

I find it comforting to know that Moses' mother's act of letting go came full circle, because she was reunited with him when the Pharoah's daughter entrusted her to be Moses' nurse-maid.  Similarly, I know that it will come full circle for me too.  For I know that there will always be a piece of me with my children wherever they go in life.  Letting go is temporary.  But because of our mutual love for Christ, I know there is eternity waiting for us! 

 
I love my babies!  And love it when they want to read together, especially in their pajamas!
 

1 comment:

  1. I like "real" books for the same reasons...turning the pages, holding it in your hands. That being said, part of me wants a Kindle so I can take lots of books with me at one time.

    Love this post! Its true. Letting go is easier said than done sometimes. Its sometimes sad to think of our kids growing up, there is amazing Joy and Blessing awaiting us for those stages too. And so true about eternity!

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