If you know my Jenna, she is one fiesty 2-year-old who is spirited and just a ball of energy. She's a tough cookie who would rather wrestle with her big brother, scale any kind of wall or barrier, and pretty much will hold her own during playdates that consist of predominantly boys. She has yet to find a girlfriend to play with, and while my not-so girly-girl would rather be a non-conformist and dance to the beat of her own drum, it took me by surprise when she told me that she wanted a "Princess Party" for her birthday.
What?!?!
I wanted to clarify, so I gave her some options...Tinkerbell party? Maybe a Mickey Mouse party? No, she is quite adamant that she wants a Princess Party. So, I have a little over a month to think about what this party is going to look like, since the whole princess thing has not been on my radar at all!
I have to admit, though, that I feel a sense of relief. I mean, I love my high- energy, beautiful girl. I, myself, was a tom-boy growing up. But when I found out I was pregnant with a girl, I was ecstatic! And immediately, my thoughts went to dressing up, having pretend tea parties, playing with dolls, etc. When Jenna showed signs that she wanted none of that, and would rip off the bows that I had placed in her hair, or scale the vending machines at church in her Easter dress (yes, it's true!), my heart did sink a little. My daydreams of taking her on mommy-daughter dates to have high tea were dashed.
But this proclamation of a Princess Party birthday...I see a glimmer of hope! But I really don't want Jenna to be the typical princess-type girls. You know what I mean...the bratty, spoilt, self-entitled type. Maybe that's why I have issues with the term "princess". Or maybe it's the tiara that's throwing me off. While I want her to be a girly-girl, but perhaps not with those "princess" traits which I just defined (sorry, I don't mean to offend anyone who has a "princess" living under their roof!).
But then again, upon further study and reflection, I do think that "princess" is the correct term when describing us as daughters of God. We are His beloved, the daughters of the Most High King. So, yeah...I guess, I'm a princess. You're a princess (or prince).
I'm reading Captivating by Stasi and John Elderedge right now with 2 of my girlfriends. The Elderedges claim that in the heart of every woman, there are 3 desires: to be romanced, to play an irreplaceable role in a great adventure, and to unveil beauty. And they postulate that in every little girl lies a fundamental question: am I lovely?
See, I struggle with that question. Because for the majority of my life, I don't feel that I am. And to be brutually honest, in this present time, I feel especially un-lovely. Because after having three kids, things aren't quite the same as they used to be. The jiggles and the muffin tops...it's all quite depressing. What's more, the post-natal hair loss is devastating to me, too (I asked Jared if he'd still love me if I was bald...honestly, that's how I feel!). I know this all sounds so vain, but ask any mom who just had a baby, and I'm sure she knows what I'm talking about it. Even if I do lose the baby weight from working out, even if my hair grows and I get luscious locks back on my head, I still think I'll struggle with not being lovely. And here's my problem: I'm giving in to the lie that I am not lovely.
I don't think that being lovely is just a physical thing. I believe it's the inner beauty that lies within us. And we, as women, need to have our inner beauty affirmed as well. I know that as a mom, I crave ANY KIND of affirmation. When I was a teacher, I received affirmation almost daily from my students. But as a stay-at-home mom, it's more often than not, a thankless job. So, the question of loveliness is back on the fore-front (and somedays, I don't feel like I deserve to be lovely after yelling at my kids or losing my temper with my husband).
But God sees. And He still thinks I'm lovely. And that's just it. While Jared does a wonderful job of affirming me, ultimately, I need to believe that to be true myself. I need to see how God sees me...that I am His beloved, that I am His princess, that I am lovely.
So, back to Jenna. Maybe she won't be the Princess-Princess type of girl. And that's fine. But she is still our little Princess - someone who knows her mind, and someone who, I know, will fight for what she believes in. I'm thankful that God has created Jenna to be Jenna, and brought her into our lives. She is one-of-a-kind and I wouldn't change a thing about her. She fills our lives with so much joy and laughter. Jenna is lovely, both inside and out. And I pray that she will grow to know it. I also pray that Jenna will use her spirited nature for God's glory as she grows up to be, what I can see, as a Warrior Princess, just like her mommy!
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Saturday, January 21, 2012
Climbing Partners
This has been a really long week. Joshua was sick and home from school for 4 days; he had his nightmarish episodes a few days in a row; having 3 kids couped up in the house for a whole week is enough to drive the saintliest bonkers; and I think I had a total of maybe 10 hours of sleep all week. Needless to say, I'm Miss Crabby Pants right now. So, thank you for indulging me as I throw a pity-party for myself.
So, good thing that I've been reading an encouraging book called "the mommy diaires...finding yourself in the daily adventure". Just the title itself drew me to it! It's basically a compilation of short essays from Christian moms about their journey through Motherhood. I'm particularly enjoying the segment on Relationships, with the subheading Finding Climbing Partners. Here's a short exerpt from the introduction to this chapter:
(she talks about hiking through the backcountry wilderness)
Good question, huh? I love that term climbing partners. It really denotes a need for one another, in the truest sense. If you've ever been rock climbing or dappled with indoor rock climbing like I have, you need to have another person with you, because you take turns belaying each other. Without the other person, you can't climb.
Likewise in motherhood. We need to find our group of mommy-friends who we can count on for support during our various circumstance. We all need that one mom-friend who you can call when you need to drop your kids off at their house so you can run an errand, or more importantly, a mom-friend who WANTS TO take your kids from you so that you can have a break (hold on that friend!!); or the friend that is super saavy when it comes to finding the best deals for everything under the sun; or the one who you can trust not to "solve your problems" but to just listen and empathize and help you believe that you're not the worst mom in the world; or another whom you can count on to pray for you when you send her an urgent text for a prayer request...and the list goes on. I don't think there's a "one size fits all" kind of mom (if you can find a friend that fulfills all these rolls, you are truly blessed!), and that's why we need a group of "go-to" mommy friends that we can truly rely on.
Interestingly enough, your climbing buddies tend to emerge when you find yourself in a difficult season. These friends are the ones that tend to pull through for you when you're in need, and are there to stay with you through thick and thin, holding you and standing by you as you navigate through the valleys, and celebrate with you when you emerge.
I like the term Climbing Partners in the Mommy World. I have a similar term for my own personal world, and I call it my Dream Team. My Dream Team consists of a circle of close friends who I can go to, not just for mommy questions, but also for spiritual support and accountability. They are my prayer warriors, friends whom I respect and will speak truth to me. Basically, they are the ones who help me grow closer to God and encourage me to be all that God has created me to be. I encourage you, even more so, to find your Dream Team. And if you have friends in your Dream Team and Climbing Partners who overlap, you are truly blessed! And I thank God for each of my sisters and partners on my journey!
Another quote I like from this chapter is:
There's so much more that I can say about friendship (maybe in later posts?). Ultimately, friendship is a two-way street. It requires time and effort. But that's how it's played. And everyone who plays, wins. You can't expect deep friendships to occur overnight. It needs time, nurture, attention, and INTENTION. I pray that you will all find your Climbing partners or Dream Team.
(P.S. So this past week is a good example, where I've been couped up at home tending to sick kids and neglecting my own needs. Those moms (and mom-in-law!) who helped in various capacities (okay, and Jared!)...thank you for being my climbing buddies! You've been a blessing to me, and it made my week more bearable!)
So, good thing that I've been reading an encouraging book called "the mommy diaires...finding yourself in the daily adventure". Just the title itself drew me to it! It's basically a compilation of short essays from Christian moms about their journey through Motherhood. I'm particularly enjoying the segment on Relationships, with the subheading Finding Climbing Partners. Here's a short exerpt from the introduction to this chapter:
(she talks about hiking through the backcountry wilderness)
...Such wilderness adventures are designed for teamwork. So too is motherhood. When we try to go it alone and cut ourselves off from the community around us, we often fail. Severe solitude and lack of accountability, support, and sheer understanding leave us stranded without the proper resources to navigate the road in front of us.
Building and investing in relationships during this season of our lives makes us not only better mothers but also better women. Friends help shape us into the women we were designed to be. They laugh with us over a good story, weep when our dreams remain unfulfilled, and challenge us when we're ready to give up. They become necessities for the journey, protecting not only our health, sanity, and sense of perspective, but also our ability to fully enjoy the path marked out for us. Who are your climbing partners?
Good question, huh? I love that term climbing partners. It really denotes a need for one another, in the truest sense. If you've ever been rock climbing or dappled with indoor rock climbing like I have, you need to have another person with you, because you take turns belaying each other. Without the other person, you can't climb.
Likewise in motherhood. We need to find our group of mommy-friends who we can count on for support during our various circumstance. We all need that one mom-friend who you can call when you need to drop your kids off at their house so you can run an errand, or more importantly, a mom-friend who WANTS TO take your kids from you so that you can have a break (hold on that friend!!); or the friend that is super saavy when it comes to finding the best deals for everything under the sun; or the one who you can trust not to "solve your problems" but to just listen and empathize and help you believe that you're not the worst mom in the world; or another whom you can count on to pray for you when you send her an urgent text for a prayer request...and the list goes on. I don't think there's a "one size fits all" kind of mom (if you can find a friend that fulfills all these rolls, you are truly blessed!), and that's why we need a group of "go-to" mommy friends that we can truly rely on.
Interestingly enough, your climbing buddies tend to emerge when you find yourself in a difficult season. These friends are the ones that tend to pull through for you when you're in need, and are there to stay with you through thick and thin, holding you and standing by you as you navigate through the valleys, and celebrate with you when you emerge.
I like the term Climbing Partners in the Mommy World. I have a similar term for my own personal world, and I call it my Dream Team. My Dream Team consists of a circle of close friends who I can go to, not just for mommy questions, but also for spiritual support and accountability. They are my prayer warriors, friends whom I respect and will speak truth to me. Basically, they are the ones who help me grow closer to God and encourage me to be all that God has created me to be. I encourage you, even more so, to find your Dream Team. And if you have friends in your Dream Team and Climbing Partners who overlap, you are truly blessed! And I thank God for each of my sisters and partners on my journey!
Another quote I like from this chapter is:
As moms, we are called to serve each other in ways that don't make sense or mean much to the outside world but mean everything to usFor example, only moms know that you should knock on the door when you come visit instead of ringing the doorbell because that will wake the baby; only moms know that a Starbucks latte can make a day better! There are so many ways to serve and love one another, and it takes knowing and being known to allow us to figure out each other's needs and how we each receive and give love.
There's so much more that I can say about friendship (maybe in later posts?). Ultimately, friendship is a two-way street. It requires time and effort. But that's how it's played. And everyone who plays, wins. You can't expect deep friendships to occur overnight. It needs time, nurture, attention, and INTENTION. I pray that you will all find your Climbing partners or Dream Team.
(P.S. So this past week is a good example, where I've been couped up at home tending to sick kids and neglecting my own needs. Those moms (and mom-in-law!) who helped in various capacities (okay, and Jared!)...thank you for being my climbing buddies! You've been a blessing to me, and it made my week more bearable!)
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Warrior Mom
I know that as parents, we would do anything for our children. I believe that the most important thing we can do, and should do, is to be our children's prayer warrior. And last night, I went into battle for Joshua...
Around 3am, Joshua started crying out (which is very unlike him). So, I went into his room and he was hysterical. I won't go into too many details, but I don't know if he had a nightmare or his imagination got the better of him. Bottom line, he was scared and I will never forget the look of terror in his eyes. Nothing I did could console him, and so I prayed. I prayed like I've never prayed before. I called on the name of Jesus to take away the "thing" that was bothering him, and I was trying to fight off this "thing" that Josh felt was on him.
In my mind and in my heart, I know that there is power in the name of Jesus. While Joshua's state of discomfort did not diminish much, I knew that I was not alone. As I articulated to Joshua that Jesus is here with us, I myself felt and knew it to be true. I am not fighting this battle on my own, but alongside the One who has already defeated the evil one. I held Joshua with one arm, almost like wanting to shield him from whatever was out there, and I was battling with my other. I know this may sound hokey to some, but it's true...this battle, it's true - literally and figuratively! And moms (and dads!), you know you will go to battle with whomever, whatever if there's a threat or potential harm to your child. Nothing compares to the fury of a protective mom! And that super power-like strength and will to stand up and defend your child is, I believe, something innate that God has placed in us.
Despite being in a sleepy stupor today, I just felt convicted to blog about this and how we need to put on our armour of God DAILY! Because there is an unseen battle out there - a battle for our children's souls, and ours too! And we shouldn't take this lightly. I've heard that in America, the evil one uses complacency to cover-up the spiritual battle that exists every day. We become complacent when we decide not to read the bible for just one day, or to say that we'll pray for someone, but don't, or say we're Christians but do not love our neighbors, etc. Complacency is and will be our downfall.
I've personally seen actual spiritual attacks when I lived in other parts of the world. And it's not something to triffle with. The battle is real. While we may not "see" it as obviously here in the US, the evil one uses other means to distract us from what is actually happening. So, I implore you to be praying, if anything, for your children, your family, your marriages. And if you can get people alongside you to pray for each other, even better! I am so blessed to have a group of people who I know are praying for me and my family on a daily basis. It's an indication that we're not alone in this battle. I'm so thankful that I was able to call upon my prayer warriors this morning and I know that they are praying for Joshua even right now. Do you have your platoon of prayer warriors that you can call upon at any moment, and enlist them into battle with you?
Another resource that I've used for years are Stormie O'Martian's books, namely the Power of a Praying Wife, and the Power of a Praying Parent. Each chapter is a prayer for a specific area, and I love how she uses scripture to pray through those issues and areas. I (try to) pray a prayer each day from each book. There is such power when you pray with scripture!! Even when Jesus was tempted in the desert, He used scripture in retort to the devil's temptations. So, let's unleash the power of scripture!
Each night, when Jared and I put our kids to bed, I always pray 3 different scripture passages over them. We chose the 3 for specific reasons: to bless, edify, and commission our children. I would encourage you to find scripture passages that are meaningful to you and use them in your prayer life.
Anyway, Joshua is napping right now on the couch after a terrifying night. God bless him! And as I look at him, he is so worth fighting for!
So, fight the good fight, everyone. God has equipped us with all that we need. Be strong and courageous, do not be afraid, for the Lord your God is with you. And daily, put on your armour of God! If you have time, read through Ephesians 6:10-20. But here's what our armour should look like...
I'm honored and priviledged to be in this battle with you. The victory is already won. We just need to be faithful and fight. So, grab your armour with me, and let's roll!
Around 3am, Joshua started crying out (which is very unlike him). So, I went into his room and he was hysterical. I won't go into too many details, but I don't know if he had a nightmare or his imagination got the better of him. Bottom line, he was scared and I will never forget the look of terror in his eyes. Nothing I did could console him, and so I prayed. I prayed like I've never prayed before. I called on the name of Jesus to take away the "thing" that was bothering him, and I was trying to fight off this "thing" that Josh felt was on him.
In my mind and in my heart, I know that there is power in the name of Jesus. While Joshua's state of discomfort did not diminish much, I knew that I was not alone. As I articulated to Joshua that Jesus is here with us, I myself felt and knew it to be true. I am not fighting this battle on my own, but alongside the One who has already defeated the evil one. I held Joshua with one arm, almost like wanting to shield him from whatever was out there, and I was battling with my other. I know this may sound hokey to some, but it's true...this battle, it's true - literally and figuratively! And moms (and dads!), you know you will go to battle with whomever, whatever if there's a threat or potential harm to your child. Nothing compares to the fury of a protective mom! And that super power-like strength and will to stand up and defend your child is, I believe, something innate that God has placed in us.
Despite being in a sleepy stupor today, I just felt convicted to blog about this and how we need to put on our armour of God DAILY! Because there is an unseen battle out there - a battle for our children's souls, and ours too! And we shouldn't take this lightly. I've heard that in America, the evil one uses complacency to cover-up the spiritual battle that exists every day. We become complacent when we decide not to read the bible for just one day, or to say that we'll pray for someone, but don't, or say we're Christians but do not love our neighbors, etc. Complacency is and will be our downfall.
I've personally seen actual spiritual attacks when I lived in other parts of the world. And it's not something to triffle with. The battle is real. While we may not "see" it as obviously here in the US, the evil one uses other means to distract us from what is actually happening. So, I implore you to be praying, if anything, for your children, your family, your marriages. And if you can get people alongside you to pray for each other, even better! I am so blessed to have a group of people who I know are praying for me and my family on a daily basis. It's an indication that we're not alone in this battle. I'm so thankful that I was able to call upon my prayer warriors this morning and I know that they are praying for Joshua even right now. Do you have your platoon of prayer warriors that you can call upon at any moment, and enlist them into battle with you?
Another resource that I've used for years are Stormie O'Martian's books, namely the Power of a Praying Wife, and the Power of a Praying Parent. Each chapter is a prayer for a specific area, and I love how she uses scripture to pray through those issues and areas. I (try to) pray a prayer each day from each book. There is such power when you pray with scripture!! Even when Jesus was tempted in the desert, He used scripture in retort to the devil's temptations. So, let's unleash the power of scripture!
Each night, when Jared and I put our kids to bed, I always pray 3 different scripture passages over them. We chose the 3 for specific reasons: to bless, edify, and commission our children. I would encourage you to find scripture passages that are meaningful to you and use them in your prayer life.
Anyway, Joshua is napping right now on the couch after a terrifying night. God bless him! And as I look at him, he is so worth fighting for!
So, fight the good fight, everyone. God has equipped us with all that we need. Be strong and courageous, do not be afraid, for the Lord your God is with you. And daily, put on your armour of God! If you have time, read through Ephesians 6:10-20. But here's what our armour should look like...
Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. (Ephesians 6:14-17)
I'm honored and priviledged to be in this battle with you. The victory is already won. We just need to be faithful and fight. So, grab your armour with me, and let's roll!
Sunday, January 15, 2012
My New Sewing Venture
This is not my regular blog entry. Rather, it's a shameless plug for my new sewing venture. I already posted this on Facebook, but I hope to be able to share it with you here on my blog.
Here's what I wrote on Facebook:
I don't even know how or where to begin...I started sewing again, and I made a pillowcase dress for Jenna and had her wear it to church one Sunday. Some of the ladies made a comment about it, and even suggested that I should try to sell it. So that thought has been in my head for months now (this happened in the summer). But with our move into our new home, Becca being born, Joshua starting Kindergarten, I just didn't have time to get any sewing done.
When Jared was home between Christmas and New Year, I had some time on my hands and started tinkering with some sewing projects. My friend, Jen, from church, suggested that I come up with a Spring/Valentine's Day line. So that's what I did. I have a few outfits that I've sewn, and I've put them on Kodakgallery, and maybe I'll post it on Facebook (yikes!).
I guess I feel a little weird "selling" my stuff, for various reasons:
1. I'm not a professional seamstress by any means (there are so many more talented women I know who can sew a lot better than I can, namely, my mother-in-law, Jane, and my sister-in-law, Anne).
2. I don't want people to feel like they HAVE TO buy my stuff. We've all been there...you know, going to those home parties for Tupperware, Pampered Chef, etc., and there seems to be an obligatory feeling of having to purchase something.
3. I know that not everyone will like what I make, cos we all have our own tastes.
4. I'll just feel weird taking money from people I know!
Anyway, I've prayed about it, and from other people's encouragement, I'm going to try and see how it goes. If anything, it will definitely help supplement our family's income. And I feel strongly about setting aside a percentage of my sales to support a ministry.
With that all said and my insecurities exposed, there's a link below to my album in Kodakgallery.com. If you'd like to purchase any of it, please leave a comment above the picture (there's a comment tab), and I'll get back to you. Or you can email or FB me directly. In time, when I gain enough confidence, I'll just list it on Facebook.
(Blog readers, I've uploaded some pics below. Leave a comment or email me if you're interested in any of the items. Thanks!)
Also, if you have any suggestions or comments for me about my new venture, please please let me know! I would love ot hear from you! I'm not business-minded at all, and borrowing a quote, I feel like I'm a "garage seamstress", not a professional one. Again, not sure how this is all going to work. I don't have a system going yet. So, please be patient with me as I work out the kinks.
Thanks for being my guinea pigs! And as always, thanks for being supportive friends!
http://www.kodakgallery.com/gallery/sharing/shareRedirectSwitchBoard.jsp?token=2422512721105%3A799868240
Here's what I wrote on Facebook:
I don't even know how or where to begin...I started sewing again, and I made a pillowcase dress for Jenna and had her wear it to church one Sunday. Some of the ladies made a comment about it, and even suggested that I should try to sell it. So that thought has been in my head for months now (this happened in the summer). But with our move into our new home, Becca being born, Joshua starting Kindergarten, I just didn't have time to get any sewing done.
When Jared was home between Christmas and New Year, I had some time on my hands and started tinkering with some sewing projects. My friend, Jen, from church, suggested that I come up with a Spring/Valentine's Day line. So that's what I did. I have a few outfits that I've sewn, and I've put them on Kodakgallery, and maybe I'll post it on Facebook (yikes!).
I guess I feel a little weird "selling" my stuff, for various reasons:
1. I'm not a professional seamstress by any means (there are so many more talented women I know who can sew a lot better than I can, namely, my mother-in-law, Jane, and my sister-in-law, Anne).
2. I don't want people to feel like they HAVE TO buy my stuff. We've all been there...you know, going to those home parties for Tupperware, Pampered Chef, etc., and there seems to be an obligatory feeling of having to purchase something.
3. I know that not everyone will like what I make, cos we all have our own tastes.
4. I'll just feel weird taking money from people I know!
Anyway, I've prayed about it, and from other people's encouragement, I'm going to try and see how it goes. If anything, it will definitely help supplement our family's income. And I feel strongly about setting aside a percentage of my sales to support a ministry.
With that all said and my insecurities exposed, there's a link below to my album in Kodakgallery.com. If you'd like to purchase any of it, please leave a comment above the picture (there's a comment tab), and I'll get back to you. Or you can email or FB me directly. In time, when I gain enough confidence, I'll just list it on Facebook.
(Blog readers, I've uploaded some pics below. Leave a comment or email me if you're interested in any of the items. Thanks!)
Also, if you have any suggestions or comments for me about my new venture, please please let me know! I would love ot hear from you! I'm not business-minded at all, and borrowing a quote, I feel like I'm a "garage seamstress", not a professional one. Again, not sure how this is all going to work. I don't have a system going yet. So, please be patient with me as I work out the kinks.
Thanks for being my guinea pigs! And as always, thanks for being supportive friends!
http://www.kodakgallery.com/gallery/sharing/shareRedirectSwitchBoard.jsp?token=2422512721105%3A799868240
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Home Beautiful
I don't know how some moms do it. They have kids to look after, countless little details to attend to, playdates to be had, kids to be dropped off at various activities, school and church meetings to attend, AND STILL their homes are neat, organized, and everything in its place.
This is clearly not me. I used to pride myself with being a neat-freak, having a house in order, and everything organized. This was all during the BC period - Before Children. When Joshua came along, I still had a good grasp of getting things done and maintaining a neat home. Then Jenna came, and now Becca...I found myself losing control of what I thought was important. When God blessed us with a new home 6 months ago, I thought to myself, "Great! This is the clean slate I've been looking for. As we move stuff into this empty home, I can take the opportunity to organize things as they come in." Yeah, well...this didn't quite happen.
If you've been to our new home, you'll notice (or not, cos we hide it very well!) that one side of our garage is a mess with unpacked boxes, and just stuff that we want to sell at a garage sale this Spring. I'm not proud of this, but I used to be one of those people who judged others who parked their cars out in their driveway while their garage was occupied with all their stuff. Now, I can empathize. And in our new home, our 4th bedroom door is always closed. Because it's been allocated as the "I-don't-know-where-to-put-this" room. Our rooms are strewn with toys and clothes; the laundry hamper is always overflowing (I equate that to Jesus' miracle of multiplying the fish and loaves...it just keeps coming!).
At the same time, I love to host. In the past, I've been so hesitant to have people over because the house isn't clean or neat enough (or big enough!). Now, I'm embracing my new reality. And I've learned that hospitality is not about the house, but about the heart, and the heart for people. I shouldn't care what people have to say about my messy house, and am learning to let those kind of comments go (especially when one of Joshua's little friends always say, "Wow! You (still!) have a lot of junk in your garage!" And he says it like he's never seen anything quite like it. Nice kid...) I used to think that having a messy house is a reflection of that person. So not true. Now I think that a messy house is a trademark of just being a mom. And whenever I go over to someone else's messy house, I feel so much more at home!
Bottom line, Jared and I have always wanted our home to have an open door. Anyone is welcome to come. We love to grant people "refridgerator rights", where people are welcome to treat our home as theirs, help themselves to whatever is in the fridge (hence, the term), etc. Mi Casa, Su Casa. Also, it's always been a desire of mine to have an extra bedroom where anyone who needs a place to stay is welcome to stay with us. I just want our home to be a reflection of God's love, His grace, His peace. I want our kids to develop a heart of hospitality and bring friends home after school or church, and that their friends will know that at our home, there is no need of fear nor judgment...just a loving and safe haven.
I really believe that this is what Christ intended for us. To live in fellowship with one another, like the disciples did in Acts 2. To do life together.
In Emilie Barnes' book Keep It Simple for Moms on the Go, she writes (about the home)...
If you can put up with my messy house, you are welcome anytime!
This is clearly not me. I used to pride myself with being a neat-freak, having a house in order, and everything organized. This was all during the BC period - Before Children. When Joshua came along, I still had a good grasp of getting things done and maintaining a neat home. Then Jenna came, and now Becca...I found myself losing control of what I thought was important. When God blessed us with a new home 6 months ago, I thought to myself, "Great! This is the clean slate I've been looking for. As we move stuff into this empty home, I can take the opportunity to organize things as they come in." Yeah, well...this didn't quite happen.
If you've been to our new home, you'll notice (or not, cos we hide it very well!) that one side of our garage is a mess with unpacked boxes, and just stuff that we want to sell at a garage sale this Spring. I'm not proud of this, but I used to be one of those people who judged others who parked their cars out in their driveway while their garage was occupied with all their stuff. Now, I can empathize. And in our new home, our 4th bedroom door is always closed. Because it's been allocated as the "I-don't-know-where-to-put-this" room. Our rooms are strewn with toys and clothes; the laundry hamper is always overflowing (I equate that to Jesus' miracle of multiplying the fish and loaves...it just keeps coming!).
At the same time, I love to host. In the past, I've been so hesitant to have people over because the house isn't clean or neat enough (or big enough!). Now, I'm embracing my new reality. And I've learned that hospitality is not about the house, but about the heart, and the heart for people. I shouldn't care what people have to say about my messy house, and am learning to let those kind of comments go (especially when one of Joshua's little friends always say, "Wow! You (still!) have a lot of junk in your garage!" And he says it like he's never seen anything quite like it. Nice kid...) I used to think that having a messy house is a reflection of that person. So not true. Now I think that a messy house is a trademark of just being a mom. And whenever I go over to someone else's messy house, I feel so much more at home!
Bottom line, Jared and I have always wanted our home to have an open door. Anyone is welcome to come. We love to grant people "refridgerator rights", where people are welcome to treat our home as theirs, help themselves to whatever is in the fridge (hence, the term), etc. Mi Casa, Su Casa. Also, it's always been a desire of mine to have an extra bedroom where anyone who needs a place to stay is welcome to stay with us. I just want our home to be a reflection of God's love, His grace, His peace. I want our kids to develop a heart of hospitality and bring friends home after school or church, and that their friends will know that at our home, there is no need of fear nor judgment...just a loving and safe haven.
I really believe that this is what Christ intended for us. To live in fellowship with one another, like the disciples did in Acts 2. To do life together.
In Emilie Barnes' book Keep It Simple for Moms on the Go, she writes (about the home)...
It's your spirit of hospitality, your willingness to share your home and your life in Christ with others. Don't wait until everything is perfect. Something will always need fixing or painting. Love what you have and invite others to share the bounty. Your gracious welcome will fill in the gaps...Your home will always be the most beautiful when you stretch out your arms in welcome!
If you can put up with my messy house, you are welcome anytime!
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Hope
Funny how I just mentioned yesterday that I didn't read anything that struck me in my daily devotionals. And funny how God heard that and just bombarded me with truth and treasures today. I guess He struck me out!
I've been reading through the Book of Psalms, and today, I read Psalm 113.
He raises the poor from the dust
and lifts the needy from the ash heap;
he seats them with princes,
with the princes of their people.
He settles the barren woman in her home
as a happy mother of children.
(Ps 113:7-9)
These 2 verses in particularly spoke to me because I've been walking with a couple of my closest friends who are struggling with infertility. It's such a long journey of ups and downs, anxiety, anticipation, disappointment...just a plethora of emotions. I can't imagine what they are going through. Why am I so blessed to have 3 beautiful children, and why God can't just grant them one?
Still, who am I to question God? But these verses in Psalm 113 tells me that even in the midst of tragedy, of difficult times, there is hope. God may not give us the outcome we desire. But He does gives us an outcome - one that we may not expect, but one that still fills the desires of our hearts, if our hearts are open to Him.
In "The Return of the King" of the famed Lord of the Rings trilogy, when the beacons of Gondor were lit, Gandalf mentioned to Pippin that the small lit beacon in the distant represented hope.
I pray that we will all find a small beacon of hope in the midst of our own difficult times. For our God is a God of Hope, and that hope will keep us going.
I've been reading through the Book of Psalms, and today, I read Psalm 113.
He raises the poor from the dust
and lifts the needy from the ash heap;
he seats them with princes,
with the princes of their people.
He settles the barren woman in her home
as a happy mother of children.
(Ps 113:7-9)
These 2 verses in particularly spoke to me because I've been walking with a couple of my closest friends who are struggling with infertility. It's such a long journey of ups and downs, anxiety, anticipation, disappointment...just a plethora of emotions. I can't imagine what they are going through. Why am I so blessed to have 3 beautiful children, and why God can't just grant them one?
Still, who am I to question God? But these verses in Psalm 113 tells me that even in the midst of tragedy, of difficult times, there is hope. God may not give us the outcome we desire. But He does gives us an outcome - one that we may not expect, but one that still fills the desires of our hearts, if our hearts are open to Him.
In "The Return of the King" of the famed Lord of the Rings trilogy, when the beacons of Gondor were lit, Gandalf mentioned to Pippin that the small lit beacon in the distant represented hope.
I pray that we will all find a small beacon of hope in the midst of our own difficult times. For our God is a God of Hope, and that hope will keep us going.
Monday, January 9, 2012
He waits
So, it's the 2nd week of January, and so far so good...I've been able to keep up with my goals for the year (blogging, working out, etc.). How are you doing with your goals?
I have to admit, I haven't really been struck by anything I've been reading these past few days. Actually, if I'm brutually honest, I have not given enough time and attention to the reading materials. I KNOW that there are treasures to be found, truths to be revealed, and given a nice chunk of time, I will be struck, probably more than once, by what I've read.
Now that school is back in session, and life is back to normality (having Jared home between Christmas and New Year was heaven!), it's taking me a while to jump back into the routine of things. My mornings are usually a blur. I rarely have breakfast before 9am, even though I've been up for a while. Once Jared and Joshua leave the house, I try to get the girls settled and then attempt to sit down for a quick and simple breakfast, and try to get some devotional reading done.
Try is the operative word. Because it seems like every 2 minutes, my 2-year-old is calling out to me, or the baby starts crying and needs to be moved again because she's tired of staring at the multi-colored giraffe hanging from the jungle gym. So, just a couple of days ago, the same said situation occurred. After tending to the girls, I walked back to the kitchen table to resume my breakfast and reading. I looked at the "spread" on my table and had to chuckle. Yep, this is a true picture of when Motherhood tries to meet Godliness! Only moms know that the baby's rattle is very versatile, and can be used as a bookmark when needed. (truth be told, I've used a diaper to wipe up a major spill...it's absorbant! I patted myself on the back for being resourceful!)
But even in the midst of the chaos, God is right there with me. I picture Him sitting across from me, understanding that I'm trying to spend time with Him but at the same time, needing to excuse myself to tend to my children. He sees everything. He sees my heart. He sees my cold, half-eaten bagel, and will honor the sacrifices I make for my children. And He sees yours too.
And no matter how long we take to come back to Him, He waits. Even if it takes 10 minutes, a few days, a season. He waits. And when He sees just a glimpse of us coming around the corner, He will drop everything and sprint toward us with open arms. Just like the father in the parable of the prodigal son...
While I haven't found new treasures in my reading these last few days, I'm still reminded of the truth of who God is. I am so glad we serve a loving, ever-patient, COMPASSIONATE God, don't you? Even if I did use a rattle to bookmark a page in His Word!
I have to admit, I haven't really been struck by anything I've been reading these past few days. Actually, if I'm brutually honest, I have not given enough time and attention to the reading materials. I KNOW that there are treasures to be found, truths to be revealed, and given a nice chunk of time, I will be struck, probably more than once, by what I've read.
Now that school is back in session, and life is back to normality (having Jared home between Christmas and New Year was heaven!), it's taking me a while to jump back into the routine of things. My mornings are usually a blur. I rarely have breakfast before 9am, even though I've been up for a while. Once Jared and Joshua leave the house, I try to get the girls settled and then attempt to sit down for a quick and simple breakfast, and try to get some devotional reading done.
Try is the operative word. Because it seems like every 2 minutes, my 2-year-old is calling out to me, or the baby starts crying and needs to be moved again because she's tired of staring at the multi-colored giraffe hanging from the jungle gym. So, just a couple of days ago, the same said situation occurred. After tending to the girls, I walked back to the kitchen table to resume my breakfast and reading. I looked at the "spread" on my table and had to chuckle. Yep, this is a true picture of when Motherhood tries to meet Godliness! Only moms know that the baby's rattle is very versatile, and can be used as a bookmark when needed. (truth be told, I've used a diaper to wipe up a major spill...it's absorbant! I patted myself on the back for being resourceful!)
But even in the midst of the chaos, God is right there with me. I picture Him sitting across from me, understanding that I'm trying to spend time with Him but at the same time, needing to excuse myself to tend to my children. He sees everything. He sees my heart. He sees my cold, half-eaten bagel, and will honor the sacrifices I make for my children. And He sees yours too.
And no matter how long we take to come back to Him, He waits. Even if it takes 10 minutes, a few days, a season. He waits. And when He sees just a glimpse of us coming around the corner, He will drop everything and sprint toward us with open arms. Just like the father in the parable of the prodigal son...
But while he was yet at a distance, his father saw him and had compassion, and ran and embraced him and kissed him. (Luke 15:20)
While I haven't found new treasures in my reading these last few days, I'm still reminded of the truth of who God is. I am so glad we serve a loving, ever-patient, COMPASSIONATE God, don't you? Even if I did use a rattle to bookmark a page in His Word!
Thursday, January 5, 2012
The Better Choice
There are task-oriented people and people-oriented people. I used to be the latter, but through the years, and when life got busier and busier, sadly I became more task-oriented. Not that there's anything wrong with that, because things need to get done. This was especially so when I was teaching. I had a spiral notebook just dedicated to my "to-do" lists. There was an element of accountability, as with any job. And so, I made sure that I crossed every "t" and dotted every "i".
Now that I'm a mom, my anality inevitably crossed over. While I love spending time with my kids, I often have an unsettling feeling while playing with them because my mind would wander over to the dishes in the sink, or the laundry that needed to be washed or folded. I wasn't 100% with them, and that isn't fair to them. Jared can attest to the fact that I don't know how to "rest", and I can't rest until things are in order (which is never!). What is rest?! Yes, I'm a freak. I've bought so many books on that topic - you name it, I've got it. I know that rest will give you peace. And it's this peace of God and from God that I long for. After all, He IS the Prince of Peace!
I read a convicting article in Christianity Today last month on the topic of parenting. The author (sorry, but I forgot her name) mentioned a phrase which has resonated with me every day since reading that article. This phrase pops up as a reminder to me whenever Joshua or Jenna come to ask me for my time and attention.
I'm paraphrasing, but it goes something like this...
We all want what's best for our children, our family, our lives. Hence, we tend to choose what's best. But instead of choosing what's best, choose what has eternal value.
In light of eternity, the right choice for me is to say "yes" to playing and spending time with my children and giving them my UNDIVIDED attention. I've really been trying to be mindful of that. They already know that I'm a germaphobic, neat-freak, who needs to be on top of things. But I'd rather they remember me as their mom who is present and loving them unabashedly even if it means playing Tickle Monster for the 10th time that day.
So today, I was desperate to get the 3rd load of laundry done and baby bottles washed and sterilized (yes, desperate because I can get a little over-dramatic over mundane household tasks!). While standing by the kitchen sink doing the dishes, Joshua came up to me and asked if I could play "football guys" with him (it's his favorite Christmas present that he got this year from Jared's parents). That phrase immediately popped in my head: "choose what has eternal value". I said okay to him, and if he could give me 2 minutes to finish the dishes, I'd be right with him and that he better bring his game on! Joshua flashed me the biggest grin which I will always remember and treasure in my heart because I know that I've delighted him with my choice! As he ran to set up the game, he yelled back "I'll be the Packers (of course!), and you be the Raiders!", cos there was a green team and a black team. I quickly finished up what I was doing and then spent the next half hour creating a memory with my son, which I know, is of eternal value.
I'm not saying that a mom should drop everything every time her child(ren) asks them to play. I think we just need to be discerning and make the better choice for that moment. Bottom line, I just want to be more like Mary instead of her sister Martha (even though I'm Martha through and through). While Martha chose to do what she thought was right and best (I'd be cleaning like a crazy person, too, if the Savior of the world was coming to my house!), her sister chose what was eternal. And I hope to hear the same words Jesus said to Mary, "You have chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from you." (Luke 10:42)
I do not want moments with my children to be taken away from me. So, I'm learning to give my children the gift of time and attention...UNDIVIDED attention, by making not just the best choices, but the better ones...the ones with eternity in mind.
By the way, Joshua and I tied the game. Everybody's happy!
Now that I'm a mom, my anality inevitably crossed over. While I love spending time with my kids, I often have an unsettling feeling while playing with them because my mind would wander over to the dishes in the sink, or the laundry that needed to be washed or folded. I wasn't 100% with them, and that isn't fair to them. Jared can attest to the fact that I don't know how to "rest", and I can't rest until things are in order (which is never!). What is rest?! Yes, I'm a freak. I've bought so many books on that topic - you name it, I've got it. I know that rest will give you peace. And it's this peace of God and from God that I long for. After all, He IS the Prince of Peace!
I read a convicting article in Christianity Today last month on the topic of parenting. The author (sorry, but I forgot her name) mentioned a phrase which has resonated with me every day since reading that article. This phrase pops up as a reminder to me whenever Joshua or Jenna come to ask me for my time and attention.
I'm paraphrasing, but it goes something like this...
We all want what's best for our children, our family, our lives. Hence, we tend to choose what's best. But instead of choosing what's best, choose what has eternal value.
In light of eternity, the right choice for me is to say "yes" to playing and spending time with my children and giving them my UNDIVIDED attention. I've really been trying to be mindful of that. They already know that I'm a germaphobic, neat-freak, who needs to be on top of things. But I'd rather they remember me as their mom who is present and loving them unabashedly even if it means playing Tickle Monster for the 10th time that day.
So today, I was desperate to get the 3rd load of laundry done and baby bottles washed and sterilized (yes, desperate because I can get a little over-dramatic over mundane household tasks!). While standing by the kitchen sink doing the dishes, Joshua came up to me and asked if I could play "football guys" with him (it's his favorite Christmas present that he got this year from Jared's parents). That phrase immediately popped in my head: "choose what has eternal value". I said okay to him, and if he could give me 2 minutes to finish the dishes, I'd be right with him and that he better bring his game on! Joshua flashed me the biggest grin which I will always remember and treasure in my heart because I know that I've delighted him with my choice! As he ran to set up the game, he yelled back "I'll be the Packers (of course!), and you be the Raiders!", cos there was a green team and a black team. I quickly finished up what I was doing and then spent the next half hour creating a memory with my son, which I know, is of eternal value.
I'm not saying that a mom should drop everything every time her child(ren) asks them to play. I think we just need to be discerning and make the better choice for that moment. Bottom line, I just want to be more like Mary instead of her sister Martha (even though I'm Martha through and through). While Martha chose to do what she thought was right and best (I'd be cleaning like a crazy person, too, if the Savior of the world was coming to my house!), her sister chose what was eternal. And I hope to hear the same words Jesus said to Mary, "You have chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from you." (Luke 10:42)
I do not want moments with my children to be taken away from me. So, I'm learning to give my children the gift of time and attention...UNDIVIDED attention, by making not just the best choices, but the better ones...the ones with eternity in mind.
By the way, Joshua and I tied the game. Everybody's happy!
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Happy birthday to me!
Yes, it's my last year in my 30s, as an old friend from grade school reminded me today on Facebook. The way I look at it, I have a choice - to dread the looming big 4-0, or to embrace the life that God has given me...today and everyday! I choose the latter. I choose to look at life half-full instead of half-empty. I choose to look at the positives, instead of the "woe-is-me". While I know that I may fail at times (cos who could stay 100% positive, 24/7, a permanent grin on the face, without pulling something?!), I'm saying that this is something I'd like to aspire to. Those of you who know me, know that I'm more on the serious, anal, Type A, probably undiagnosed OCD type. But I want God to work in me, and with Him, all things are possible.
My inspiration came from reading my daily Kyria online devotional. Let me share...
The search is worth the favor you will experience. I love that!
So after putting my mind to looking at the positives, the test began, yes, already this morning...
I didn't expect anything glamourous or super special today, since it's the first day of school, and the first day back to reality. I mean, every school year, the first day of school happened to fall on my birthday. (But I must share that Jared did take me out for lunch today! So, that was special!)
For some reason (again, I think this was a test!), after I picked Joshua up from Kindergarten, the floodgates suddenly opened and I had a 5-year-old whine that he didn't want to go to the restaurant that I had chosen for lunch because they didn't serve nuggets; a 2-year-old having a total meltdown because her Princess purse fell on the ground and was screaming for me to retrieve it (which I couldn't cos I was driving!); and the noise in the van woke the 4-month-old who commenced her ear-piercing cry which just contributed to the cacophany of noise that filled the air! (seriously, if the FBI or CIA needed to interrogate somebody, just leave that person in a room full of whining toddlers. I guarantee that they will break!). So, I took a deep breath, and fumbled for my new Chris Tomlin CD which I got for Christmas, and put it in the CD player. Soon, the world edition of "How Great Is Our God" came on. And it was beautiful. And I'm not kidding, and this may sound hokey, but I felt this peace come over me. Maybe it's the peace that I blogged about in my previous entry. The noise from the kids seemed to fade away...and they eventually did! And I found myself singing and worshipping along.
I've never faced chaos this way before. I usually lose my cool and have had to pull over and stop the van on several occasions to take care of the insanity that resided in my Sienna. But this...this choice of choosing the positive...the choice to just stay calm...I like it. And when I picked Jared up for lunch, I think he was just as surprised at how calm I was.
So, happy birthday to me! It's going to be a good year!
My inspiration came from reading my daily Kyria online devotional. Let me share...
today's verse
from the New Living Translation
"If you search for good, you will find favor;
but if you search for evil, it will find you!"
Proverbs 11:27
encouragement for today
Do you look for the good, particularly in people? If you do, you will find favor. If you focus on the negative all the time—watch out! The negative will find you. Yes, sometimes you have to search for the good; it's not always apparent. But the search is worth the favor you will experience.
The search is worth the favor you will experience. I love that!
So after putting my mind to looking at the positives, the test began, yes, already this morning...
I didn't expect anything glamourous or super special today, since it's the first day of school, and the first day back to reality. I mean, every school year, the first day of school happened to fall on my birthday. (But I must share that Jared did take me out for lunch today! So, that was special!)
For some reason (again, I think this was a test!), after I picked Joshua up from Kindergarten, the floodgates suddenly opened and I had a 5-year-old whine that he didn't want to go to the restaurant that I had chosen for lunch because they didn't serve nuggets; a 2-year-old having a total meltdown because her Princess purse fell on the ground and was screaming for me to retrieve it (which I couldn't cos I was driving!); and the noise in the van woke the 4-month-old who commenced her ear-piercing cry which just contributed to the cacophany of noise that filled the air! (seriously, if the FBI or CIA needed to interrogate somebody, just leave that person in a room full of whining toddlers. I guarantee that they will break!). So, I took a deep breath, and fumbled for my new Chris Tomlin CD which I got for Christmas, and put it in the CD player. Soon, the world edition of "How Great Is Our God" came on. And it was beautiful. And I'm not kidding, and this may sound hokey, but I felt this peace come over me. Maybe it's the peace that I blogged about in my previous entry. The noise from the kids seemed to fade away...and they eventually did! And I found myself singing and worshipping along.
I've never faced chaos this way before. I usually lose my cool and have had to pull over and stop the van on several occasions to take care of the insanity that resided in my Sienna. But this...this choice of choosing the positive...the choice to just stay calm...I like it. And when I picked Jared up for lunch, I think he was just as surprised at how calm I was.
So, happy birthday to me! It's going to be a good year!
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Happy New Year!
My sister-in-law, Rachel, gave me a devotional book for Christmas called "Jesus Calling" by Sarah Young. It's a daily devotion which I hope to be able to commit to doing. At first glimpse, I was relieved to see that each day's devotion was short, and I liked how it had a few verses that I can look up and read for the day. Awesome! I get to: read the Word - check! read the accompanying devotion - check! and perhaps journal when I feel led to - check! There, it shouldn't take me more than 10 minutes, right?
But as I read the introduction to the book, I got to know the author and her journey to search out His presence and her deep desire to dwell in it. Something in my heart stirred. I, too, want that! I want to linger in His presence and know that the Almighty is with me...protecting, comforting, loving me. I'm feeling convicted about my daily check-list, and hope that as I wake each day, I just can't wait to spend time in quiet devotion (maybe when the kids are napping?!), with this book in my hand and a longing in my heart to be with Jesus.
A phrase struck me in the introduction. Sarah recounted a life-changing verse for her, which is Psalm 46:10 "Be still and know that I am God." She mentioned that alternate readings for "be still" are "relax", "let's go", and "cease striving".
Cease striving...for some reason, that spoke powerfully to me. Every day, I feel like I'm running on a treadmill. Always running, but not getting anywhere. Trying to knock off as many things on my to-do list, trying to be the best mom, wife, friend, but at the end of the day, falling into bed feeling utterly spent and empty. Perhaps if I cease striving, to be still, to just chill out, this peace which God promises, the one that surpasses understanding, will envelope me and give me the rest I so desire. And in my state of rest, maybe, just maybe, I will sense His presence.
But as I read the introduction to the book, I got to know the author and her journey to search out His presence and her deep desire to dwell in it. Something in my heart stirred. I, too, want that! I want to linger in His presence and know that the Almighty is with me...protecting, comforting, loving me. I'm feeling convicted about my daily check-list, and hope that as I wake each day, I just can't wait to spend time in quiet devotion (maybe when the kids are napping?!), with this book in my hand and a longing in my heart to be with Jesus.
A phrase struck me in the introduction. Sarah recounted a life-changing verse for her, which is Psalm 46:10 "Be still and know that I am God." She mentioned that alternate readings for "be still" are "relax", "let's go", and "cease striving".
Cease striving...for some reason, that spoke powerfully to me. Every day, I feel like I'm running on a treadmill. Always running, but not getting anywhere. Trying to knock off as many things on my to-do list, trying to be the best mom, wife, friend, but at the end of the day, falling into bed feeling utterly spent and empty. Perhaps if I cease striving, to be still, to just chill out, this peace which God promises, the one that surpasses understanding, will envelope me and give me the rest I so desire. And in my state of rest, maybe, just maybe, I will sense His presence.
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