The Better Choice

There are task-oriented people and people-oriented people. I used to be the latter, but through the years, and when life got busier and busier, sadly I became more task-oriented. Not that there's anything wrong with that, because things need to get done. This was especially so when I was teaching. I had a spiral notebook just dedicated to my "to-do" lists. There was an element of accountability, as with any job. And so, I made sure that I crossed every "t" and dotted every "i".

Now that I'm a mom, my anality inevitably crossed over. While I love spending time with my kids, I often have an unsettling feeling while playing with them because my mind would wander over to the dishes in the sink, or the laundry that needed to be washed or folded. I wasn't 100% with them, and that isn't fair to them. Jared can attest to the fact that I don't know how to "rest", and I can't rest until things are in order (which is never!). What is rest?! Yes, I'm a freak. I've bought so many books on that topic - you name it, I've got it. I know that rest will give you peace. And it's this peace of God and from God that I long for. After all, He IS the Prince of Peace!

I read a convicting article in Christianity Today last month on the topic of parenting. The author (sorry, but I forgot her name) mentioned a phrase which has resonated with me every day since reading that article. This phrase pops up as a reminder to me whenever Joshua or Jenna come to ask me for my time and attention.

I'm paraphrasing, but it goes something like this...

We all want what's best for our children, our family, our lives. Hence, we tend to choose what's best. But instead of choosing what's best, choose what has eternal value.

In light of eternity, the right choice for me is to say "yes" to playing and spending time with my children and giving them my UNDIVIDED attention. I've really been trying to be mindful of that. They already know that I'm a germaphobic, neat-freak, who needs to be on top of things. But I'd rather they remember me as their mom who is present and loving them unabashedly even if it means playing Tickle Monster for the 10th time that day.

So today, I was desperate to get the 3rd load of laundry done and baby bottles washed and sterilized (yes, desperate because I can get a little over-dramatic over mundane household tasks!). While standing by the kitchen sink doing the dishes, Joshua came up to me and asked if I could play "football guys" with him (it's his favorite Christmas present that he got this year from Jared's parents). That phrase immediately popped in my head: "choose what has eternal value". I said okay to him, and if he could give me 2 minutes to finish the dishes, I'd be right with him and that he better bring his game on! Joshua flashed me the biggest grin which I will always remember and treasure in my heart because I know that I've delighted him with my choice! As he ran to set up the game, he yelled back "I'll be the Packers (of course!), and you be the Raiders!", cos there was a green team and a black team. I quickly finished up what I was doing and then spent the next half hour creating a memory with my son, which I know, is of eternal value.

I'm not saying that a mom should drop everything every time her child(ren) asks them to play. I think we just need to be discerning and make the better choice for that moment. Bottom line, I just want to be more like Mary instead of her sister Martha (even though I'm Martha through and through). While Martha chose to do what she thought was right and best (I'd be cleaning like a crazy person, too, if the Savior of the world was coming to my house!), her sister chose what was eternal. And I hope to hear the same words Jesus said to Mary, "You have chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from you." (Luke 10:42)

I do not want moments with my children to be taken away from me. So, I'm learning to give my children the gift of time and attention...UNDIVIDED attention, by making not just the best choices, but the better ones...the ones with eternity in mind.

By the way, Joshua and I tied the game. Everybody's happy!